Godlessness

My friends often comment jokingly, saying, 'I wonder what you'd be like if you were drunk/high etc'; or 'do you ever wonder it would be like to be drunk etc - are you ever curious?'.

To be honest... no. It's interesting, and I thought about why is it that I have no desire to contemplate such things, which I've never felt compelled to desire this, how it contains absolutely no attraction to me. No drugs, no alcohol, and no temptation...

Wondering why, I decided to take a step back, and ask why? Why was this so? I realized, that it wouldn't make sense in the context of my identity.

I struggle to put this words, so bear with me as I try :)

All of the directions my life goes in, stems from a common origin, which is my identity and the ideals I strive to live up to. And to me, alcohol or drugs is completely disconnected from that 'common point'.

One thing I do contemplate, is how would my life be different, if that common point was different? Something I sumrised as "Godlessness" - not being religious, not striving to live a spiritual life, with a spiritual destiny, with the purpose of to work for the betterment of society. To me, in the context of me, being Baha'i etc. that's what believing in God means.

Definitions huh.

So, how would my life be different if it was "Godless"? Probably, I would be going on the pubcrawls with my classmates, I wouldn't have any problem with getting drunk, experimenting with drugs, I would probably be shaving my legs, I would probably be very cynical about religion to be honest, I wouldn't have a problem with promiscuity and would be living with my hypothetical boyfriend. I would probably smoke, swear easily, be provocative and contentious....

All things I have social pressure or inclination to do, and all things I consciously, deliberately and with effort avert.

It wasn't until then that I appreciated how much effort I put into living a Baha'i life, and how difficult it is, and how much sacrifice it entails.

Sacrifice.

But what is sacrifice anyway, but giving up that which is lower for that which is higher. Something that is also painful.

What do you chose to sacrifice in your life?